Why “Yes, But” Is the Wrong Response to Misogyny

Over at Feministe there is a guest post about why when confronted with misogyny, the “Yes, But” response kind of fails. And Imma of course go a step farther and say this response to any –ism is bad. It’s a long argument, aimed mostly at those who either don’t get it, or perhaps get it but can’t verbalize it. Thankfully it sums itself up pretty quickly:

When the topic of misogyny comes up, and men change the subject, it trivializes misogyny.

Yep. Prettymuch. Trying to dismiss, excuse, or ignore any sort of –ism is basically you showing it’s not worth your time or consideration, and trivializes the whole problem while simultaneously contributing to it.

Also this:

If you want to talk about starving people in Africa, or whether misogyny is worse in (X) community than (Y) community, or male circumcision, or some possibly mean and unfair things that some feminist said at another time, or whether moderation of online forums constitutes censorship? Fine. Those are worthwhile topics. (Except for the last one, which is just silly.) But they are worthwhile topics FOR A DIFFERENT DISCUSSION. Post them in another thread. Start another thread. Do not freaking bring them up every single time the topic of misogyny comes up.

It’s not all about you.

And if you’re acting as if accusations of misogyny are all about you… maybe that’s something you should be looking at.

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